Resolving My Personal Conflicts

 

 

 

 

Resolving My Personal Conflicts

          When two or more people are entangled in a disagreement it can be defined as a conflict (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).  Conflict is often unavoidable because often people have difficulty seeing eye to eye on various issues.  The conflicts that can be most challenging are the disagreements that we may have with family members because these are the people that you will be stuck with most of your life and there is an emotional bond that exists.  So the task at hand is how do we resolve conflicts in a peaceable manner and leave all parties feeling satisfied.

          The major conflicts that I experience constantly are with my husband who I have been with for many years.  He has the awful habit of taking off his clothes at night and dropping the clothes on the floor when he changes into his night attire.  This really irks me because I feel that it is unsanitary and he does have a clothes hamper that he rarely uses.  I am constantly telling him to pick up his clothes off of the floor and he refuses to do so until he is ready to wash his clothes.  Our next argument is over the television remote and when and where that one can watch television.  I often like to work on my laptop computer on a small dining table in our den and watch television at the same time.  He often complains about me having my computer on the table and he thinks that I should not be able to watch television and use the computer at the same time because he believes that I am monopolizing two devises at the same time.  So he will often come in the room and change the channel on the television and tells me that I am not allowed to do both.  I automatically get in an argumentative and defensive mode because at that point I believe that my rights are being violated.

          When thinking about the ways that I could resolve these pressing conflicts I start pondering about what techniques could be successful.  I could implore the escapist strategy which means to try to avoid all conflicts at any cost (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).  My husband   often uses the Challenging strategy because he becomes very assertive and feels that his way is the only way.  So we have to find a way to come up with some cooperative strategies which is defined as creating solutions that would appeased both people when a disagreement occurs (O’Hair & Wiemann, 2012).   I think my husband and I should use the 3R’s strategies to solve our conflicts which are to be respectful of our feelings, share our thoughts, and respond to the others needs (The Center for Nonviolent Communication, n.d.).  Sometimes I will pick up his clothes off the floor and wash his dirty clothes to avoid conflict.  When I am on the computer and the television is on I will also ask him if he would like to watch something else and he will respond “yes” or “no thanks” so we are moving toward more peaceful solutions.  We are now moving to more productive conflicts which ease tensions on a thriving relationship.   

 

 

References

O'Hair, D., & Wiemann, M. (2012). Real communication: An introduction. New

          York: Bedford/St.Martin's

The Center for Nonviolent Communication. (n.d.). The center for nonviolent

          communication. Retrieved from http://www.cnvc.org/